Here we are again! Little Casper is not feeling well. The boyfriend thinks that he no longer recognizes us! His owners. His mummy & daddy. He no longer understand that we won’t hurt him. He no longer trust us. It’s his nerves or rather more specific, his brains. I’m trying to keep a brave front you know! To not let myself believe that my beloved baby boy is not our baby boy anymore. I can no longer see Casper in his eyes. It’s like he has change, over 2 days. Scaring me! I can see that boyfriend is upset & unwilling to let go (neither am I)! But do I have to play the villian when the time comes? Life is funny isn’t it? You can only prolong your fate but you can’t change it. I guess that is good enough. Who are we to mess with god! Sometimes I wish Casper can just start talking, to understand what he is going thru. That paranoia! That sense of insecurity. All that madness! It’s weird how I can actually relate to that.
We reckon that his sight is completely gone. & that he is now a full fledge blind dog. He may not understand that now. That we will still give him all the tender loving care he needs but the worrying question is that “will he EVER understand that”? If not, can I live with it or am I willing to let go of him!
“No sugeries” he yelled. “I won’t cut him open. I won’t allow him to go thru all that pain when there is little or no chance of recovery” he explains.
“Fine” I said solemnly.
Just because I know that I don’t want Cas to be hurting as well.
“But don’t you wanna know what is exactly wrong with him?” I probed further. “Are you okay with just living with this or putting him down with no solid prove of his condition?” I questioned him with a more persistent tone.
He said nothing.
I guess now all we can do is wait & see. Just because we are all out of options!
Cas will be fine!
It breaks my heart that when we brought him home, he was such a happy puppy. So cheerful, so full of live. He even looks like he is smiling all the time. Now, he just looks like a grumpy, old man all the time!
